Keep The Drive
You may lose things and people but never lose yourself
Whenever we lose things in our lives, we are also at risk of losing ourselves and our motivation for life.
I can personally recount the number of things I have lost in my life, from relationships to material things. I have had huge losses, varying in comparison and value but there’s one thing I always have control over while going through or experiencing my loss; the drive to press on despite the pain of and dissatisfaction with the loss.
Whenever we lose things in our lives, we are also at risk of losing ourselves and our motivation for life itself. With every loss, our passion and drive for life will suffer a debilitating blow. But what determines the impact and after-effect of this blow is how we choose to respond or where we position ourselves after the loss.
If there’s a time to reach deep down and draw out more courage to keep up the pace of our lives and press on with a passionate drive for the things we believe in and find purpose in, that time is when we go through losses.
If you are going through a loss of any kind or have been through and still struggling to process it or exit the grieving stages, I would like to offer a few suggestions to help you process the pain and navigate your way out of this maze.
What’s most important after forgiveness is finding closure.
I was going to call this section ‘forgiveness’ but that will be so cliche and narrow-minded as not all loss require forgiveness. And even though we must forgive ourselves first and others whenever necessary, what’s most important after forgiveness is finding closure to the events that led to the loss so we can move on without the attachment to the memories or things that can keep us living the event over and over again in our heads. Our passion and drive for life cannot coexist with the judgment of self or others.
Finding closure to your loss means regaining all of your self and energy that had been lent to that loss. If there are things that remind you of the loss, get rid of them and if they are too important to be rid of, put them away where you don’t have direct access to them and for a long time to allow yourself time to heal from it. Whatever you do, do not relive the events that led to the loss or the loss itself.
This, of course, does not mean that when we lose a loved one that we should stop cherishing their memories or visit them in remembrance. Our loved ones will forever stay in our memories but we must choose instead to celebrate their lives and not put ourselves in an endless loop of mourning after they’re gone.
Finding closure to your loss means regaining all of your self and energy that had been lent to that loss.
And once we’ve arrived at closure, we can proceed to the next stage of this process.
Never leave self-identity to guesswork.
Now that we’ve put away everything that we attach to the loss, we need to re-establish our identity and renew our sense of purpose.
Do you remember how life was before the loss? The things that got you excited? Things that stimulated your passion and drive for life? You will need these things on the road to re-establishing your self-identity.
Everything you do feeds on who you see yourself as - your self-identity.
Self-identity is one thing you should never leave to guesswork. Everything you do feeds on who you see yourself as - your self-identity. Identity crisis will lead you down the road of comparison, copying others and ultimately dissatisfaction with life.
For some of us, all we need is a little reminder of where we used to be, where we’ve come from and the things that made us thick back then. In these moments, the past can hold the key to navigating the present into the future.
When necessary, take the time away to find that identity, engage in activities that help you look inward and get in touch with yourself and when you have established an unshakable identity, it’s time to set off the rockets of your life into space; time for a re-launch!
The past can hold the key to navigating the present into the future.
The purpose of this journey, or call it process, is to arrive at a place where we can, again, focus on our life’s work and purpose with a strong sense of who we are, having left behind and put to death the things in our past that may hinder our progress, whether it be the loss of material things, people or relationships.
This is when life is brand new again. Opportunities are fresh and our strength to run is renewed. One amazing fact about this stage is that you would know when you arrive at it. It’s like driving through a toll road with a toll device attached to your car. You get the beep when you drive through the toll entrance that tells you that you have entered the toll zone.
This is the goal and once we’re at this place, we forge on to do great work and become the best versions of ourselves that we can be. This is when we can truly KEEP THE DRIVE despite the past we’ve had and the struggles we’ve had to overcome.
Tosin AdewumiThe All-Round You | Passion Reveals Purpose
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